Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Well!

Ok, there is no way to begin, but to begin. I have been overweight for a goodly portion of my life, at this point, was not really a chubby child, but when i got pregnant, way back in the dark ages, i gained 70#. Off and on ever since then i have been on this struggle to loose weight, i have won a couple of times, then put it back on. So yo-yo dieting has been a part of my life. Well i have decided to have a gastric by-pass, Roux-en-y, is what it is called and it is the one the insurance will pay for. BUT i have to loose 20# first :) now if this was so easy i wouldn't be going to these measures one would ask, which is what i did. But that is just the way it is. So am on the road to the doctor's appointments and testing. Don't know why i felt the need to share, except it is a part of my life and so, this blog. Maybe the struggle will be helpful to some, i am sure not so to others. It is a tool and not a final solution and i am in a point in life where i need this tool. And medical science has progressed on this point too, to a point where i feel relatively safe with it. Don't have alot of physical problems, but there are things if not addressed are going to be cause for worry in the future if i don't change my wicked ways :) Also felt this would hold me more accountable rather than holding what i was going thru close to me only. I also want a record, why i don't know, just do, to look back on and see what i had to go through to make it an accomplished goal/dream.
I just hope this does not involve alot of whining, i guess it doesn't have to if i don't make it that way, right???!!!!
I have in mind a bucket list of things i would like to do, you all know THE bucket list and many of these things i can't do, due to my weight. For example: were i to go to the Grand Canyon and want to go to the bottom on a mule, i could not as u can't weigh more than 200# (poor mules) can't sky dive, try to find a wet suit for scuba diving anywhere let alone off the Palancar Reef in Cozumel, Mexico! hiking, walking at times is a chore and very tiring for any length of time, going to certain restaurants because i would not fit in the chair. I know, this is a sad list. If i want to do it i want to be able to DO it and not have to think about the weight issue thing. But all things that one thinks of when one is weight challenged. Even sitting on a tour bus, or God forbid a plane with the extension seat belt. Which i bought one of my own, so i don't have to ask for it in front of everyone. The looks, whispers, i am not deaf people! I am a person, a caring, feeling person who some people say is quite lovely (not to bang my drum) and i will be the same person at a size 16 (not a lofty goal) instead of a 30, yes, that's right, i did not make a key error. I refuse to wear tight clothes but prefer ones that fit accordingly
Oh, and my son is not very happy with me, thinks i can just diet it away. I feel i have more than tried that, any given number of ways: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Diet Center, Herb-A-Life, fitness programs, Richard Simmons, i mean if i had all the money i have spent on trying to loose weight, i could probably pay outright for this house!!!!
Today was the nutritionist, who was helpful. Found out half my body weight is lean muscle mass, but that means that half is fat too, but guess this is good, as many others are worse, geez, can't imagine that....
Then back to normal everyday: i went to get the tires rotated on the car, then to the Desch Co Sheriff's office to change the address on my concealed gun permit, if i had to, if it was a problem, well yes it had to be done, $15, everything cost something. Did not cost anything to change the address on my driver's license, on-line. Oh well, Hell...... then in the parking lot, dropped my phone and it popped apart, battery fell out. Appeared to be only one way to get it back in, it would not work, so had to go the Sprint store, he took the battery out, put it back and it worked, now why not for me???? Then to the bank as the sheriff's office took my last $$$. now i am back home. Once again listening to the thumpity thump of the road building and dynamiting, THAT really upsets Carl and Luci!!! AND back to more unpacking. Making decisions where things go, am tired of doing that, but want to get the garage organized and can't do that with all the 'stuff' in there.
Take Care All!!!!

13 comments:

  1. well ..that is a deep thought!..good for you for sharing..we all have our crosses to bear and I wish you luck..one day at a time!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It is always good to share your thoughts. Best of luck with the 20lbs and the surgery. Clearly you have the motivation to do this. I trust we will hear more as it goes along.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loree - I completely know what you are going through. I have fought weight all my life and in 1980 I had a gastric by pass. One of the very first ones that were ever done. It was wonderful. And I kept the weight off pretty good except it started to creep back on after I got pregnant. So now I struggle with it every day and right now I'm losing the battle. I do know they have learned a lot since I had my surgery and have improved the procedure a whole lot. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. So go for it girl. I am on your side 100%. And please share with us your journey. If you have any questions, e-mail me and I'll tell you about my experiences.

    Sandie

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope that sharing and blogging will help you with your goals.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hope we can be supportive and help you in your decision and struggle. Some times you just have to do what you have to do!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Loree...I congratulate you on your decision and my wish for you is strength and endurance. Having lost 80 lbs, I can relate to what you're going through. Good luck.

    Jeana

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for sharing your story, Loree. I wish you well! I lost 100 pounds in 2001-2002, but sadly I have gained it all back. It's a constant struggle. Most of the time I just bury my head in the sand, which I know I shouldn't do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Loree- so glad you decided to share your story with us. I join the others in supporting you in your decision. You do what you feel is right for you. We'll all be here for you and walk along beside you each step of the way.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good for you, Loree. It is a daily fight, isn't it? And I mean all day, every day - there is always something that looks and smells tempting. Constant willpower required. Best of luck in your endeavor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations on your decision, Loree. As one who fights the weight thing as well, I know it isn't always about what we eat. I can lose weight on less than 800 cals a day, no more. I know that about myself after many years. That is about half of what most thin folks eat in a day if they are careful, and about 1/3 of what thin folks I know eat in a meal. IF I could eat only 800 cals a day and exercise 2 full hours, I could get down to a size 14. I have done it a few times. I know this about myself, and I make my choices so am not a size 14! Take care, Loree. I am glad you posted this, especially since the overweight prejudice is one of the last standing discrimination issues that is still supposedly OK. Infuriates me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Best of luck with all of this Loree. At 5' tall I have to watch everything I eat and run at least 4 miles every other day to keep off the 25# I lost. Wish you could go on the Biggest Loser program but you actually probably don't weigh enough. Some of those people and what they do to get the weight off are amazing.

    On another topic, have you adopted Carl and your son just visits him??

    ReplyDelete
  12. Most of us are fighting that battle, too. I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision for you to make, and I wish you success! I had a friend who went through it, and he felt wonderful, and was able to do so much more at the reduced weight. Good luck, we are all with you on this journey. :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wishing you all the luck in the world on your journey to good health and your bucket list.

    Dur gonnit, there's a saying I'm trying to think of-maybe someone will think of it. It's about how troubles get lighter when shared--so this is the place to do it. Writing helps me get through things. I've had private diaries in the past, but since my trip, I've found that I've met so many people who I think of as friends and I've never met them face to face and may never, but they're friends just the same.
    hobopals http://travelswithmrnimble.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete