Lost...

We are loosing Carl..... These past two weeks have been horrid.  I finally convinced Brian to take him to the vet,"to make sure".. and a mass was found on his spleen.  He is having a great deal of difficulty in breathing.  Can barely walk and just collapses at various times and places. Can just go no further.  I have been giving him water with a turkey baster... He won't eat and elimination is almost non-existant.
We have an appointment tomorrow at noon.  the vet is coming to the backyard... that is what Brian wanted... He has SO many emotions tied up in Carl.  Carl got him thru some very lonely, sad times.  It is very difficult for him to let go.  But, finally last night he became aware that he was doing Carl no favors by keeping him with us.... He was for the longest time perking up when Brian came home from work and would follow him from room to room and insist that Brian stay beside him.  He would bark and bark when Brian went out to the garage for a smoke and not take Carl with him.  And Carl does not really like going out there, too cold for him and he does not like the smoke... he wanted Brian in the house, in his chair or on his bed.  Carl would lay beside him...  Carl only 'put up' with me.  i fed and cleaned up after him, let him in and out, even took him for walks when he was still able.  But still he was only Brian's dog.... I was Carl's servant......
He was really and truly an good dog.  when walking he never pulled and he could have, in his prime, pulled me right off my feet, but he never did.. he was patient and would wait for me to catch up. never bit anyone.... never run away.... he would really mind Brian and stayed right beside him always.. Altho he had many bad habits and a devil may care what he happened to track into the house or step in he was always quick to please.
One thing i remember that shows he was a big scaredy  cat.... when we moved into this house, i got one of those huge watering dishes that expels water when the water level would get below a certain point, and give a big bubble/burp of water into the dish, WELL he saw that, jumped across the room and started barking at it!!!! He would NEVER drink out of it.... he would get thirsty and want water and would stand beside it and bark, i finally had to get just a regular dog dish to give water and keep filling up ( i guess it worked out as that thing was really hard to clean out and then lift the full container onto the stand, we eventually gave that away to someone with 4 dogs)
So.... all that being said, tonite and tomorrow morning is going to be a hard day.  Last nite was hard enough, we both sat on the floor with him and cried and cried...
No matter they sure get under your skin and you come to rely on them and love them dearly and no matter his horrible habits and upkeep, he will be sorely missed....

Take Care all and God Bless... take time to love one another...