gone

 Finn developed some sores on his hind end, which he kept licking at, so to the vet Tuesday.. they thought it some kind of allergies, but just got worse, he was miserable, had him in a big cone so he could not reach himself...  then he just started getting worse and worse, by late Friday he would not eat or drink and was very lethargic and not himself at all Saturday had a recital to go to and when i got back, he was terrible, just laid there and did nothing, hardly lift his head, so took him to emergency, and they had him on a bunch of meds and IV's then he got fluid in his abdomen and around his heart... and they said he had a perforation in his colon or intestines that was causing the build up of fluids, and that he was septic, never could figure out why the sores on his bottom and right shank.  He was very sick, they needed to do surgery.... already cost $1600 and surgery was going to be 5-10,000 more and only 50% chance he would survive.. that most of the septic abdomens did not survive... apparently he ate something that perforated something inside

Which makes me feel like a terrible mother. I should of watched more closely... something... wracking my brain and Robin and Brian's too , to figure out what he had gotten into... well.... final thing is we had to put him to sleep. I could not afford the expense, which sounds horrid, but. life is what it is.. and bottom line is, of course the money and did not want to put him through that... only to half n half maybe it would be ok...??? and he was so, so sick

All i can think of is all the cute little things that he did, and it is now so quiet and lonely here... and he so, so loved me... and i him